“Humans see what they want to see.”— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief
having parents that were really angry and petty and abusive when you were young is weird, because it makes part of you grow up to want to be kind, to generate good things, to be a source of peace and wellbeing for others; but it makes another part of you grow up to be quick, and sharp, and spiteful, and that’s always the part that shows itself first in a hard situation, so it’s a struggle between your hateful gut reactions and your wish to not add any more misery to the world. it’s a hard balance, and the people who really, really know me - i know they see that anger flash in my eyes before i quiet it, if i quiet it…i want to overcome years of conditioning, and with gentle, constant force, i know i’ll mellow it. it just takes time.
“Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to. It’s not for them.”— Joubert Botha
“You cannot feel what you do not feel; you cannot be blamed for that lack.”— Martha Gellhorn, Selected Letters
If someone shows you time and time again they wont or arent ready to give you love , believe them and spend your energy instead on looking for those that dont need convincing to stick around
if your heart ever tells you that something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it
6i:
SAVING MONEY IS SO FUCKING HARD CAUSE IT’S LIKE YOU GOT MONEY SO YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY NOT BROKE BUT YOU HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE YOU’RE POOR SO YOU CAN SAVE
gentle reminder
if you are being hard on yourself over a decision you’ve made in the past because you feel it was a poor decision, just remember that you made the best decision you could for who you were at that moment, and with what information you had available to you - try your best to be forgiving and kind to yourself, and look towards the decisions you have to make, not the ones you’ve already made